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Parenting Advice: The Key to Solving Society's Woes!

By: Dr. Noel Swanson

The problem is that children don't arrive with an owner's handbook.

Which is tragic, really, considering the fact that they are embarking on the most important task of their lives. After all, the success of their children depends, to a large part on their success as parents. And the success of each generation, of the neighborhood, even of the country and the continent, depends, to a large extent, on the success of that generation's parents in raising them.

Most parents get by. Their kids grow up and also get by. They live average lives in average communities, and raise the next generation to do the same.

But in an increasingly complex society, is that good enough?

First, if average is average, then half the population are below average. We see the results of that all around us - crime, poverty, prostitution, homelessness, child abuse and so on. And we see the cycles of depravation repeated from one generation to the next. As ineffectual parents pass on their lack of skills to their children.

Suppose, just for a moment, that we could do raise this general standard? Suppose that, before these damaged and deprived children, they could learn some new skills, new ways of understanding the parenting process so that they don't have to just repeat the mistakes of their own parents? Wouldn't that benefit us all in the long run?

Second, look around at the leaders in our society? What do you see? Corruption? Selfish ambition? Hidden agendas? Don't we need more heroes? More statesmen of outstanding virture, courage, leadership and wisdom? It is said that behind every successful man is a successful woman? Isn't that woman most often the man's mother? What if we could raise the standard of parenting so that we had more people growing up in secure, loving, confident families so that, instead of manifesting hurt, insecurity, and mistrust, our leaders could show a wondrous capacity for love, kindness and generosity?

Third, don't we, as parents ourselves, want to give our own children the best possible start to life? For them to grow up happy, confident, and skilled in social relationships? Don't we long for them to be able to avoid the mistakes that we made?

But how can we teach them all that unless we ourselves have been taught? And if all that we have been taught comes solely from what our own, fallible, parents passed on, and from what we have, by chance, picked up from movies, TV, and our friends and neighbors, is it not surprising that the raising of our own children becomes a rather hit-and-miss affair?

Yet the whole notion of learning to parent seems anathema. We won't let people operate a car, a gun, a boat, a scalpel, even an electric saw without proper training - but we are quite happy to let them operate a child for 18 years with no training whatsoever! Is this some kind of collective madness? We don't say, "let everyone drive a car without a license, but then if they have an accident we will require them to get some training". But that is exactly what we say when it comes to having children! In most people's mind, parenting classes are only for "welfare cases".

Are we nuts? Most people who are sensible recognize the need for training for just about any activity in life - indeed, they positively go out of their way to seek more education and more training so as to enhance their skills and, in turn, enhance their lives. Yet when it comes to raising their children they think they can just make it up as they go along?

Most mothers, these days, take ante-natal classes to prepare for the birth of their new baby. Why? Because they want to give their baby the best chance of a safe and successful birth. But that was the easiest part! Far more difficult is knowing what to do with this child for the next 18 years! But no-one seeks preparation and training for that!

Such ante-natal advice and help has had a major impact on the health of newborn babies. Isn't it reasonable to expect that widespread parenting advice and help would raise the health of our society and our world?

To bring it closer to home, take a look at your own life? If you have children, are you doing the best you can? How do you know you are? You don't know what you don't know, so if you have not had some teaching, how can you know that you are doing all you can to inspire and motivate your children? That you are adapting your behavior to match their temperament so as to best give them confidence and teach them responsibility? Wouldn't it be worth to spend a bit of time and money to read some books, attend a seminar, or watch a DVD so that you can understand them even better?

And what are your children learning? How will they learn about child development, the formation of character, and the instillation of morals? The right, and wrong, way to use punishments and rewards so as to help, and not harm, their own children?

It seems to me that something that crucial for the success of individuals and of society should be systematically taught in school, right alongside the other essentials for life, such as reading, writing and math.

So, when you are next watching some horrific human tragedy - a murder, rape, or suicide - unfold on the news, ask yourself, "could we have prevented this by giving that person's parents and grandparents better parenting skills, advice, and guidance?".

Then go out and get yourself a parenting book. Read it and discuss it with your friends. You might be amazed at the insights you get about your children - and even yourself.

Article Source: http://www.diet-article.com

Dr. Noel Swanson's website provides free www.good-child-guide.com/parenting/”>expert parenting advice - just sign up for his newsletter and get a free chapter of his book, The GOOD CHILD Guide. Why not discuss parenting issues with other parents on a www.yesparenting.com/forum/”>parenting forum?
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